BURNING BRIDGES

BURNING BRIDGES  Yosemite National Park taken by John Rodgers  One time when I was a young man. My dad warned me about burning bridges. He advised me it was something I shouldn’t do. My reply to him was If I can’t back then I can only move forward. This remark did not make him happy, and it was obvious on his facial expression. It is something I’ve done all my life, and it has served me well. Sometimes making life hard, but always pushing me forward. Flying the kite John scraping the bottom for an hour on both hulls I have left Panama 3 times in an attempt to sail to Hawaii. All three are explained here, but for some new readers. I will give a very short explanation for my returns. I had a new mainsail built for our trip. I explained to the sail maker where I was going, my distance, and what weather to expect. What I got was something way under built for the task. We lost the head of the sail in our first attempt. As soon as I could pull the sail down I could see that there was no reinforcement. I did a maneuver I have always done when the wind is building. Having no faith that the hardware would fit back onto the old sail. We returned to lick our wound. Imagine by John Lennon logo Damage on the bottom of the main sheet The second time was the discovery of my tumor behind my left ear. We left in the morning, so we could keep an eye for debris that covers the Gulf of Panama. That night the pain started in my head. Over the top, and around the bottom rear of my brain was like fire. The pain burnt so bad I couldn’t sleep. After 2 days of sleep deprivation. Then I couldn’t stay awake. This left Mel to manage the boat, and me wondering if the pain would ever stop. Once again we returned, and we flew home where I was diagnose with cancer. John's last scan at UCSF Hospital  The third time was bad crew, and the fear that problems were occurring would only worsen, jeapordize our lives, and or Imagine too. As my patience wore thin, and my fears grew along with the return of pain in my head, and my eye. I made the decision to once again turn back. As we were leaving the island of Taboga. I turned back, and looked at Panama City. I wanted to yell out NEVER AGAIN, and then this thought hit. Never say never, so I turned my eyes south, and we continued on. All the time in my mind I am saying to myself this is it. We’re gone, and free of Panama, yeah right. Man makes plans, and the gods laugh. Or as John Lennon sang. Life is what happens when you make plans.   Sunset at Las Brisas de Amador Anchorage    So here I am in Golfito Costa Rica. Mel flew home a couple of weeks ago to work. We need to refuel, re provision, and Imagine herself needs some attention. Mostly some good old fashioned elbow grease. The kind that creates spit,, and polish. She hasn’t received some for a number of years. Life just kept me busy, and then it was time too leave Florida. Then she sat for 8 months in the heat of Panama withering away. Hauled in Vacamonte, Panama You might ask why not just leave again, and for those that do not understand sailing. There are seasons to sail. Just like there are seasons to snow ski. All 3 times we left at the beginning of hurricane season. I took the risk, because the beginning is relatively safe. If weather came we could always turn south to avoid any storms, or hurricanes. Imagine is very fast with the wind on her rear quarter in a strong breeze, so this gave me comfort to run away from bad weather. We would be sailing below, and to the west of normal paths of hurricanes. Now it is the heart of the season, and risk multiply for a safe sail. So here I sit in Golfito without Mel. I am tending to Imagine’s needs, and stripping weather worn wood. Placing varnish back on it, and tending to some small mechanical needs to. What I am finding is there is nothing here. The materials I seek are not what I want, or they don’t exist. Shipping materials in is very costly, because they want to tax you another 50% on top of shipping, and cost too. I have searched, and hunted all over town, and I have come to the realization what I want, and need is just not here. To the point of burning bridges I am coming to. I am glad I didn’t yell at Panama City, because for the fourth time. The third time returning I will arrive in Panama City once again. It was said too me when it was first suggested that maybe I would feel like I failed. I don’t know failure. What I do know is sometimes you can’t accomplish a goal. That means it’s time to pick yourself up off the ground. Dust yourself off, and continue moving forward. Another phrase I know from when I was growing up. Is when the going gets tough. The tough get going. I know these sayings are corny in today’s world, but I didn’t grow up in this world. I grew up in a different one. Las Brisas de Amador Anchorage                                                                          Skyline Panama                                                       Another one is you have to sometime step back to go forward. This is what I will be doing. Even though it breaks my heart to give up 1000 miles to once again move forward to cover over 4000 miles. It’s what I need to do to move forward. I have been fighting it for 2 weeks now. I have done my research, and hunted for what I want, and need. it’s just not here, and logistics, and logic tell me to go back over that bridge I so happily thought I left behind on July 18th. It’s nearly 2 months now, Sept. 16, and once again I will see the skyline of PANAMA CITY!  Panama City, Panama Skyline  I will go there, and feed Imagine attention with varnish, paint, fiber glass, bow repair, sweat, and a few skinned knuckles. I will sit out the rest of the hurricane season there. I will patiently wait for the winds of change in my life, and of the earth. My fingers are crossed that my health remains to improve. That I will have the strength when it’s time to go, to simply go! It will be the time of year when the winds should be consistent. They should be on my rear quarter. Giving Imagine a chance to stretch her legs like a long distance runner. Place mile after mile behind us swiftly, and with ease. Another old saying that is in the sailing life. May you have fair winds, and seas on the quarter. 3 times I have fought against Mother Nature, and 3 times she has pushed me back. This time I will let her carry me too Hawaii!

IMPROVEMENTS

I think the thieves that stole the dinghy tried to kick the door in. There was a split piece of wood on the door, and the hinges were bent very far over. The door use to not drag very much, and now on our return it did. As you can see I screwed the hinge down, and pried it over to straighten them out. Now the door has very little drag to it. Even less than before. There are also comparisons to be made with the wood of last week, and what it looks like now. Hand rails, door frame, and the door itself at least now have some protection. After I arrive in Panama I will work on the becnches, and table for the cockpit. Then nearly 300 feet of rubrails on the topsides will need some attention too. Then some new red paint on the hulls. Go over the top of the white stripe, and the white in the cockpit. I have not made up my what what to do about the deck yet. The past 4 years she has had very little cosmetic attention, so now it's time.

Before and After  (doors)

Finished

 

 Before and After Rails

New look for the varnished rails

Before (Bend hinges)

After (Fixed Hinges)

        
Fixing the Hinges